It would have been Alexander's 4th birthday today. I spent the early hours this morning (what would have been a couple of hours before his birth 4 years ago) awake , thinking about all the different things that could have been done differently. This is always the most difficult part of Alexander's birthday.
Alexander's birthday has a routine now- for 4 years, I have always made him felt elephants and a cake with an elephant topper. Every year, we would also sponsor an elephant for him and try to raise some money for a charity. I had decided early on that this will be something I will try to do for his birthday every year. It is so hard wanting to be a mother to a child who isn't physically there and it is comforting being able to do something to keep his memory alive.
Happy birthday, my not so baby boy Alexander (wherever you are). Lots of love, mummy xxXx