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These past few months have been both very busy and very stressful. Who said things would get easier? If it does, it's not happening yet! One thing I've noticed during my recent stresses is that the world doesn't stop for you and surviving when you are stressed is difficult. I haven’t made things easy for myself by landing (face down) on a new job. In addition to what feels like throwing myself in at the deep end, my new job also requires me to navigate through bendy 60 MPH country lanes. I apologise if you are one of the drivers who have followed me patiently as I grip the steering wheel for fear that I will fall out of the car at 35 MPH. I used to complain about delayed and cancelled trains but now I miss the ease of just jumping onto a train- at least I can sleep! At work, I am this keen "new girl" who smiles too much (although the smiles have probably faded now). At home, I have a new hobby: dirt obsession and cleaning which has caused a lot of tension between me and Tim. I am scared of anything and everything and at the moment I have no idea how I am going to stop this new hobby. My anxiety levels have definitely reached a new high.

Suddenly, ready or not, it’s Christmas. This is our second Christmas since saying goodbye to Alexander and it’s definitely not easier than last year. For me, Christmas has always been about spending time with loved ones and it's difficult when you can't. These significant anniversaries and holidays really do make me feel the gap that’s been left. I see presents that I would buy for Alexander and imagine how he would have loved to pull the baubles off the Christmas tree. A few weeks ago, I saw a family wearing matching Christmas jumpers. Yep, I would have definitely put a matching Christmas jumper on Alexander (and Tim too)!

We have set up a Twitter account for Alexander Forever. If you want to chat, especially during this very difficult time of the year, please send a tweet - you are not alone and your tweet will also help others feeling the same. Please send us a tweet at Alexander082018 or using #AlexanderForever

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